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We Have to Remember the Children of Alcoholics

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I don’t have any children. Instead, I have a story.  I had a friend once, who I no longer keep in touch with, who probably will never see this. We’ll call her Erica.  She had two children, one who lived with her (the child’s) father, and one who lived with Erica. Erica’s daughter, I’ll call Bailey, and while I knew the two of them, she went from about five years old to seven or eight.  She was kind of tall, with a long torso and faint freckles under her eyes.  I’d hang out sometimes, … [Read more...]

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Advice on Forgiveness for Recovered Alcoholics

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Forgiving without excusing. Being a recovered addict—of any kind—means more than just laying off the substance in question.  That’s kind of unfair, because doing just that is extremely hard.  But living as a recovered addict means keeping the rest of your house in order.  You have to get into harmony emotionally—it’s your entire emotional life that matters, since that is what will keep you from needing the substance. That’s why in this blog I’ll be talking about things having to do with a … [Read more...]

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Are You Enabling an Alcoholic?

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Enabling an Alcoholic, Meaning well isn't always enough. Today, let’s consider the interesting story of H and me.  H is my girlfriend, who is a rock and who has given me an incredible amount of help over the years.  There’s no question about any of those things.  But this strange story will involve some things that weren’t completely and utterly helpful, when H was actually enabling me. H works at a fabric store, has reddish brown hair, and is a lot tougher than most people give her credit … [Read more...]

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New Dangers of Drinking While Pregnant

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In January of this year, we learned even more about the effects of drinking on a fetus’s heart. Case Western University researchers led by Ganga Karunamuni, PhD made use of a new imaging technique called optical coherence tomography, which uses light waves instead of the sound waves used by an ultrasound.  It produces high-resolution images, and has shown us insights into the heart of a fetus that we hadn’t gotten before. Karanamuni says that even one episode of heavy drinking can cause … [Read more...]

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New Relationships Can Threaten Sobriety

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So, new relationship can threaten your sobriety, ironic, isn't it? I had a friend named TJ.  This was back in Albuquerque in the 90’s when I was drinking a lot.  I met TJ just before he started getting clean.  He was the manager of a convenience store I frequented, and we got to talking that way, also finding out we had a friend in common. TJ—as happened with me—had a hard time with his girlfriend while he was still drinking.  Or it might be more accurate to say that she had problems with … [Read more...]