Are You Enabling an Alcoholic?

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Enabling an Alcoholic, Meaning well isn't always enough. Today, let’s consider the interesting story of H and me.  H is my girlfriend, who is a rock and who has given me an incredible amount of help over the years.  There’s no question about any of those things.  But this strange story will involve some things that weren’t completely and utterly helpful, when H was actually enabling me. H works at a fabric store, has reddish brown hair, and is a lot tougher than most people give her credit … [Read more...]


Taking Charge of Your Recovery

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Take Charge of Your Recovery There’s a paradox: recovery is insanely hard.  When something is insanely hard, the tendency is to back off, slack off, maybe quit a little.  But the paradox, of course, is that if you don’t work super hard at it, it will be impossible.  It’s something that requires your full attention and full effort. I’ll tell you the difference between just thinking you’re going through recovery and really taking charge. Albuquerque: Feeble Attempts I did my heavy … [Read more...]


Controlling Your Emotions During Recovery

  They call it emotional sobriety. One of the keys to recovering is to gain some self-control.  Obviously self-control is absolutely central to quitting a substance and to staying that way.  But as you start to live sober, you’ll gain control over yourself in a much larger sense.  You’ll control, not just the urge to drink, but many more emotional traits.  There are some cause and effect qualities to this—the gains in self-control come from sobriety, and increased control and a better … [Read more...]


Overcoming Resentment During Your Recovery

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Today’s topic will be resentment: harboring it and then proceeding to vanquish it. I want to start off with a story of my ex-girlfriend, whom we’ll call Debbie.  Debbie was a medium-height brunette with a great sense of humor and quite a lot of attitude.  I kind of liked the attitude, but only when I was in a good mood.  She was my girlfriend while I was drinking heavily, and my girlfriend when I hit rock bottom.  She was a girlfriend who left me a few times and we got back together, and … [Read more...]


Should You Go Into Rehab For Depression

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Is Rehab for Depression? I’ve spent a lot of time writing about rehab, about various types of programs for getting past alcoholism.  But what about depression?  You know people who take Zoloft, Prozac, etc. for depression; and those who see a therapist for it.  You may also be aware of inpatient programs—rehab—for very severe depression. Let’s take a look at circumstances in which rehab may be the best option for depression, and what would happen from there. First, we should look at some … [Read more...]